Sometimes I need to request that someone behave differently. That's fine if the request is appropriate.
But I tend not to broadcast how other people's behaviour has affected me emotionally.
(Obviously I do discuss this with a sponsor or friend: I'm talking about telling the person whose behaviour has affected me.)
Why?
Firstly, I'm responsible for my emotional reaction. They're not. If I'm telling them, why would I be doing that? To punish them? To get them to change? Not my business. I can eliminate my emotional reaction whenever I want through spiritual principles. No need to involve them. We don't criticise or find fault.
Secondly, if someone has been randomly bombing your territory, you would not send them a report telling them exactly which bombs hit your secret facilities, or you're betraying yourself, literally, and handing the other person the blueprint to your industrial and military complex. Or network of beliefs, thoughts, and emotions. In short, you're enabling them to attack your weakest points before you've had time to establish a defence shield. Nuts. Don't do it.
But I tend not to broadcast how other people's behaviour has affected me emotionally.
(Obviously I do discuss this with a sponsor or friend: I'm talking about telling the person whose behaviour has affected me.)
Why?
Firstly, I'm responsible for my emotional reaction. They're not. If I'm telling them, why would I be doing that? To punish them? To get them to change? Not my business. I can eliminate my emotional reaction whenever I want through spiritual principles. No need to involve them. We don't criticise or find fault.
Secondly, if someone has been randomly bombing your territory, you would not send them a report telling them exactly which bombs hit your secret facilities, or you're betraying yourself, literally, and handing the other person the blueprint to your industrial and military complex. Or network of beliefs, thoughts, and emotions. In short, you're enabling them to attack your weakest points before you've had time to establish a defence shield. Nuts. Don't do it.