Upset is formed of two components:
(1) Perception
(2) Comparison with the 'ideal'
To rid oneself of the upset:
(1) Adjust perception to the reality of what is actually happening. Strip away all speculation, interpretation, generalisation, and extrapolation. One is left with a simple, bare event. This will eliminate many perceived problems.
(2) The 'ideal' is the demand, expectation, or desire
Some such ideals are rubbish, for instance wanting to be liked, superior, pretty, rich, etc. If one is unsure that these are rubbish, one can read Marcus Aurelius's Meditations (in the translation by Gregory Hays), Anthony de Mello, Epictetus, and Tolstoy's Calendar of Wisdom, which provide adequate explanation. Pages 60 to 62 of the book Alcoholics Anonymous also help. The ideal is thus set aside, the comparison drops, and the upset evaporates.
Some such ideals are reasonable, for instance, 'being useful', 'having shelter', 'having food', 'having friends'.
To the extent that the phenomenon is under one's control: act right, and one will eliminate that part of the problem. The ideal is then brought in line with the reality, and the upset evaporates.
To the extent that the phenomenon is not under one's control: suck it up and ask God to replace one's cowardice and complaining with cheer, courage, and fortitude. The ideal is thus set aside, the comparison drops, and the upset evaporates.
(1) Perception
(2) Comparison with the 'ideal'
To rid oneself of the upset:
(1) Adjust perception to the reality of what is actually happening. Strip away all speculation, interpretation, generalisation, and extrapolation. One is left with a simple, bare event. This will eliminate many perceived problems.
(2) The 'ideal' is the demand, expectation, or desire
Some such ideals are rubbish, for instance wanting to be liked, superior, pretty, rich, etc. If one is unsure that these are rubbish, one can read Marcus Aurelius's Meditations (in the translation by Gregory Hays), Anthony de Mello, Epictetus, and Tolstoy's Calendar of Wisdom, which provide adequate explanation. Pages 60 to 62 of the book Alcoholics Anonymous also help. The ideal is thus set aside, the comparison drops, and the upset evaporates.
Some such ideals are reasonable, for instance, 'being useful', 'having shelter', 'having food', 'having friends'.
To the extent that the phenomenon is under one's control: act right, and one will eliminate that part of the problem. The ideal is then brought in line with the reality, and the upset evaporates.
To the extent that the phenomenon is not under one's control: suck it up and ask God to replace one's cowardice and complaining with cheer, courage, and fortitude. The ideal is thus set aside, the comparison drops, and the upset evaporates.