I felt lost for a while in recovery. I
didn't do the programme very thoroughly for a number of years. When I was many
years sober I went through the Big Book turning everything I read into a
question to learn about myself and then when I got to the instructions bit from
page 63 I followed everything there to the tee.
In particular, there had been gaps in terms of forgiveness
and amends. I deliberately and systematically forgave everyone and made amends
to many people who had been missed, until I got to a point there was no one
left to forgive and no one left to make amends to.
The top of my life blew off and I found I could be immensely
use to other people who were struggling as I had struggled. Life became far
smoother and far easier, and a lot of joy and light flowed into it.
In the many years since that happened one of the chief joys
has been carrying this message to many people through sponsorship in AA and
through service carrying AA's message to the community and to the society I
live in.
A relationship with a Higher Power was established through
working for that Higher Power through service, and once that relationship was
fully established all sorts of other joys and interests erupted into my life
that I had not been able to connect to properly before that point.
My job was and remains: find out not what my will is for me
but what the Higher Power's will is for me. Sponsorship and service turned and
kept the lights on, and the light has now filled my entire life.