Monday, 31 October 2016

Stubborn resentment

Do you have a stubborn resentment? Write out the first three columns of a resentment inventory, and then ask these questions, which are derived from pages 66 to 67 of the book ‘Alcoholics Anonymous’.

Have I concluded that someone else is wrong or something is not the way it should be?
Have I become stuck on that conclusion and cannot get past it?
Have I fought to have my own way?
Did matters get worse?
Did seeming victories turn out to be defeats?
Were my moments of triumph short-lived?
Has this resentment led to futility and unhappiness?
Have I been squandering the hours that might have been worthwhile?
Is my hope the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience?
Can I see how this resentment could be fatal?
Have I been giving safe harbour to these feelings?
Is this resentment cutting me of from the sunlight of the spirit?
Is the insanity of alcohol returning?
Do I have to be free of anger?
Can I see how this person or situation is dominating me?
Do I want to escape?
Do I want to master this resentment?
Can I see that others are spiritually sick?

Then:

Ask God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.
Say: ‘This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. They will be done.’
Avoid retaliation or argument.
Ask God to show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view.

Pray this consistently, then write the fourth column (based on the questions in the second full paragraph on page 67).

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